I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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