is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
