I wish I could punch you in the face.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
