omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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