guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
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