Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
