And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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