dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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