new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
