Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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