It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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