I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
