I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
