I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
