I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
