Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just invented taco cereal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
