Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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