I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
