He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I look better un-naked...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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