I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
