ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
