hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
