I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
