is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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