Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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