I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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