Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
