I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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