drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
