I wish i was in the wii world.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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