White coat. Heels.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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