Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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