tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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