My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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