He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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