at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
