There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
