broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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