they said they heard you say put it in my butt
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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