i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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