dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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