I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
