Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
