I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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