So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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