1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
