she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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