He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
not ubering you a puppy
He did a backflip because drugs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
