I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
