Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
