dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
