This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Are we in a gay sports bar?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
