There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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